We took the kids to the park the other day. Big "L" said something that really hit me. He was pushing "A" on the swing, she was having a hard time remembering that she couldn't keep looking backwards! :) He gently offered to her "You cant keep looking backwards if you want to go forward."
That tiny little sentence hit me so hard, I felt as though I had been knocked over. I instantly started thinking at the many things we have dealt with, the past two years in particular had been extremely tough. I thought about how I have personally spent a lot of time dwelling on what has happened. Being quick to tell others to deal with things and move on but not being so quick to take my own advice. (last post ring a bell?)
How could I emotionally let go of things that Ive held onto for so long? How can I just walk away from the web Ive built myself into? Learning to let go and walk away from it all seems like such a hard thing to do, until I realized it didn't have to be that way. I reminded myself that I have a beautiful life and I need to be thankful for that. I need to put my focus where it deserves to be placed. On the here and now. On my amazing husband and two children. On the future we are building together.
I knew it had to be now, I told myself look forward, don't look back. Take the big scary leap into the unknown. Don't let the hurt, pain, confusion....any of it get in your way. Look forward to a bright new day. Remind yourself that if you let go of it then it cant hurt you anymore. The past is just that, the past. Tomorrow really is a new day, a fresh start.
Since doing so Ive found my days to be brighter, happier. Not that they weren't happy before, but now they are even better. The weight that has been lifted off my shoulders is tremendous. I feel like a brand new person. Most importantly I feel like I am giving my all to not only myself, but my family. Nothing makes me feel better and more rewarded then that.
Growing emotionally takes time and effort. Hard work that you cant give up on or you will most likely fail. It doesn't come easy, and will most definately take time. With a little advice from my husband though, I found that it might not be as hard as it seems. If you continue to look forward towards the future then looking backwards will be a thing of the past.